'Hiking' and A Little Update

the past couple of weeks we've been 'hiking' in palos verdes. i use the quotes because it's really just walking along a trail but we figured we'd start off easy on the whole hiking thing. anyway, it's so nice to do something different and get out of the house. our usual outing is to the beach or the park nearby which is lovely but we've been itching to get out of our comfort-zone and it's been such a breath of fresh air. 

i apologize for the slightly sporadic posting around here. i'm busy keeping other bloggers on schedule plus william and charlotte have both decided napping is soooo last year. rearranging my writing time has been a little difficult and i haven't quite found the perfect time yet. late-night writing is not for me. i'm too sleepy and have usually had a little wine so ... ;) bear with me, i'll get back on track soon! PLUS in the coming weeks there will be a few other changes happening over here. mamages is getting a little face-lift and some additional authors! i've been scheming on this more collaborative approach to this space for a while now and i'm so excited to finally be there!

there's a collaborate information page coming soon, but in the meantime, if you're interested in becoming an author on mamages, writing about anything and everything related to motherhood, kids, etc please get in touch! bri@mamages.com you don't have to be a mama to contribute! everyone has a story about a mama to share be it your own or an aunt or grandmother. 

Posted on October 22, 2014 and filed under Family.

It's in the Bag | Maru

It's in the Bag | Maru

Hello Mamages readers! My name is Maru, I blog over at Fashiony Fab and I'm so excited to be here today sharing what I carry around in my bag. I always enjoy this series, in my opinion, you can learn a lot by seeing what a person considers as everyday essentials, so I'm hoping you guys can get to know me a little better with this.

Let's start with the kind of bag I normally choose. I usually go for big bags, you know, the ones that give you all the space you need to put in them what you need each day and more, if I can get them in a neutral color such a light brown or camel is better. I found this one on Zara a year or so ago and I absolutely love it, it has the right amount of space, the color that can be paired with almost everything and it's easy to carry, for me it's all about comfort and style.

It's in the Bag | Maru

I'm the kind of person that doesn't change the content of her bag pretty often, I may add a couple of things some days, but other than that, you will always find the same in there. Let's go through my essentials. I can never leave the house without my wallet, this one is from Nine West

What i love about it is that it has all kind of compartments to separate tickets (which I tend to accumulate), your change and cards. Next, my Ray Ban sunglasses, even if it's not a sunny day out, I always keep them there just in case, and my prescription glasses by Tous, these are by far my favorites, not to mention that without them I can't even drive. My iphone is always close to me, as well as my Kate Spade journal, you never know when you're going to get inspired, and to keep track of my to do list, a nice little notebook, which I won from a Garance Doré giveaway (yay!). Oh, and a pen of course.

It's in the Bag | Maru

To always be prepared and in case I need to retouch my makeup during the day, I have this makeup bag from Victoria's Secret with my favorites: Nars blush, a blush brush, my favorite lipstick Revlon Balm Stain in Sweetheart, a lip liner and a press powder by Makeup Forever.

It's in the Bag | Maru

To refresh myself during the day, I have my Victoria's Secret body mist, Mango Temptation is my currently favorite, hand cream to keep my hands hydrated, I love the ones from Natural Scents and to keep them clean, a sanitizing gel, which is super useful.

It's in the Bag | mamages

And last but not least, my house keys. This is my favorite key chain, my dad gave it to me when he visited Thailand and I just love the little and colorful elephants it has. I know it's a tiny detail, but it makes me happy when I see it, so why not share that with you.

It's in the Bag | Mamages

Thank you so much Bri for having me! It was such a pleasure to share with you today what's in my bag and I hope you enjoyed it as well.

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Posted on October 21, 2014 .

The Art of Small Talk

small talk | mamages

i can correctly guess where almost any conversation is going with another mama. 

meeting a new mama at the park:
"how old is your son?"
"oh, he's 2"
"and your daughter?"
"9 months"
"oh wow! so small!"
"yeah, she's really tiny"
.... awkward silence

and then it's over. i find an excuse to go away or do something else because it's the most boring conversation on the face of the planet. comparing our kids ages is really the best we can do? here are a few non-boring conversation starters for mamas:

"hey i love that necklace!"
*to the mama with a travel mug* "extra coffee kind of morning, huh? me too"
"wow he's a quick one! you must be chasing him all around the house!"
"do you guys come to this park a lot? is this your favorite in the area?"
"your kid's shoes are so cute! what a stylish little pair!"

just a few variations for ya ;) 
talking to new mamas at the park is a really scary thing for me to do. i'm not super outgoing and most days i'd rather just sit and chat with william. he's pretty talkative nowadays. but, i'm working hard to get out of my shell a bit and these boring conversations are really frustrating and draining. so next time you're striking up a conversation with another mama at the park, please don't ask how old her kids are. do you really care? i know i don't!

Posted on October 20, 2014 and filed under Lifestyle.

Lost and Found

i sat around all day yesterday trying to come up with the right words to say about pregnancy and infant loss day. as most of you are new around here, i thought it would be worthwhile to share my story again.

Miscarriage | via Mamages

four months after getting married i had a miscarriage.

when i found out i was pregnant i was shocked. i was on the pill, we weren't even close to thinking about having babies, and i was only 21. i was in no way ready to have a baby. but, once you see those two little pink lines (4x over because i peed on every stick in the box) all of that goes flying out the window. i remember being so excited. i couldn't even wait to do something super cute and sweet to tell brad, i just left the tests in the bathroom and he found them when he got home. cute, right? ;) 

we told everyone. well, not everyone. we told our families and i told my best friend. and then in the middle of november it was gone. 

not even through my first trimester and it was over. gone. done. i was in a dance class when the miscarriage started and i met brad at the hospital after the scariest drive of my life (don't drive when you're that freaked out. ever.). we spent the better part of the afternoon/evening/night in the emergency room waiting for them to run tests, get the results, etc. all the while knowing that it was over. my beautiful surprise pregnancy was over just as quickly as it had started. the bleeding didn't stop, the pain just got worse and worse and i knew. they sent us home and said they would call in 2 days with the official results. but i knew. those 2 days were still awful and beyond cruel to make me wait, but i knew. 

the weeks to follow i don't really remember. i barely got out of bed, i hardly ate, i didn't even cry after the first few days. i remember sitting in the shower, the hot water beating down my back just sitting and wondering why. why had it come and gone so easily? why did i even have to know? what made me take that test in the first place? why couldn't i have been one of those women who didn't even know they had miscarried? i was devastated. i had a little, teeny tiny taste of what motherhood tasted like and it was just ripped away from me in a night. 

somewhere during the 30 or so minutes i sat in the shower feeling sorry for myself something changed. i got it in my head that i couldn't NOT be a mother. i couldn't NOT be pregnant. i got a taste of it and i wanted it back. all those reasons why i didn't want to be a mother yet; i wasn't ready, i was too young, freshly married. they didn't matter. what mattered was i was pregnant and then i wasn't and i had to change that.

on christmas eve i saw those two little pink lines again and i knew that this was the baby i was supposed to have. 9 months later william was born and i was right. i'm not usually one of those 'everything-happens-for-a-reason'-people, but in this particular instance it's impossible not to be. those weeks between my miscarriage and william's conception were the hardest of my life. but that experience taught me how to handle other disappointments and loss and gave me william. 

everything happens for a reason.

Posted on October 16, 2014 and filed under Motherhood.

Don't Talk About Your Kids

i try to stick to one rule while i'm out either on a date or out with friends or meeting new people:

don't talk about the kids.

i always break this rule. but it's always in the back of my mind and i'm always conscious of when i am talking about my kids. my time away from them should not be spent talking about them. these times are few and far between so when it does happen, i want to focus on other aspects of my life.

it's easy when i'm out alone (hey, solo-grocery trip! woohoo!), but when i'm out meeting new people at an event or something it's nearly impossible. when anyone asks "what do you do?" or basically anything about my life, it always comes back to my kids. so it's an unavoidable topic of conversation. but i always try to steer it back to something else. 

don't get me wrong, i enjoy talking about my kids. but there are appropriate times for that and appropriate lengths of time for that. i remember shortly after having william i went to book club with some friends. it was the first one since becoming a mama and i was so excited to finally get out of the house alone and have some girlfriend time. the one other mama in the group cornered me and started up a conversation about babies. she went on and on about her baby and asked so many questions about my new little one and comparing stories with me. all the while i watched jealously as my kidless friends drank their wine and chatted about anything else in the world. their childless lives not overrun with conversations about sleep schedules and breastfeeding and strollers. 

whenever i'm out and find myself talking about my kids, i think back to that evening and stop myself. i find another topic to talk about. because i spend enough time during my day as a stay at home mama talking about and with my kids that i do not need to talk about them ad nauseam while i'm out without them.

so, if you're a mama, i challenge you to talk about something - anything else next time you're out without your babies. and, if you're not a mama, next time you have a conversation with one, ask her about something OTHER than her babies. she's not just a mama. she's a woman who has many other fantastic things to talk about, let her!

Posted on October 15, 2014 and filed under Motherhood.